Friday 4 March 2016

Rambles: Is talking the cure for everything in relationships?

Talking is probably one of the hardest things to do when you're upset with your significant other, trust me I know from personal experience. I never knew I was a boiling hot pot until someone pushes me over the edge. But now I think about it's one of the best remedies. 

Personally, I know I'm a stubborn person that seems to drag things out because I feel like I'm always right. I've only really realised that it's my big fat EGO that gets in the way sometimes. Truthfully, the trouble is I never want to be the wrong one but sometimes someone else has to put you in the right place and makes you realise you've stepped out your boundaries. However, it doesn't always go as smoothly especially if  your other half has the same mentality. In this situation both of your egos are getting in the way and suddenly everything is 1000 times worse than when it started off. 

Couples go through this problem every now and then, especially if one or both of them like to bottle up their feelings. I wouldn't say I was the best talker in my relationship but I think I'm learning slowly from the most I've learnt is that talking is so IMPORTANT. I'm usually the one that gives the advice on how to get over these types of things but, I do admit sometimes I don't practice what I preach. That's because talking is probably one of the hardest things. Future tip to myself and whoever reads this is that whenever you feel uneasy or uncomfortable about something even the littlest things talk about it with someone you trust and feel comfortable around. I can vouch that this does work. 

If the person you do find yourself talking to doesn't seem they care or uninterested they are not the one to talk to. Believe me even though they seem like they are listening but aren't 100% there it's not worth it. Find someone who gives you 100% attention and actually reciprocates, at the end of the day you wouldn't want to tell someone and still feeling burdened with that problem, you should have the feeling of relief that something that has been pulling you down lifted off you. 

Slowly but surely you'll learn that something as simple as talking can help your relationship flourish in a different way. I also feel even as corny as it sounds it will strengthen the bond between you and your significant other. Also, sometimes you just need to realise your fault in the dynamic and apologise for your wrong doings. Even though it may seem a hard thing to do especially when you're trying to prove a point, but just think of the bigger argument that could start and ask yourself is it worth it?

I know this isn't the whole story of every argument, but hopefully, it just gives you an insight on how you can prevent things escalating and just solve things without having to go through a whole song and dance about who is wrong and right. This also helps the other person to look out in the future when they could be doing something that you don't like. At the end of the day, your relationship will seem stronger and you can have that security that  you always have someone to turn to no matter how small or big the problem is. 

Maui x 

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Maira Gall